Jus me
I never meant to hurt you... I never said i never loved you... I never said i did it for someone else... i never said i never cared.... But all these things i didn't say to you has made you doubt our 20 months. And you doubting me, has made myself doubt our relationship. I admit, maybe i did it out of my own selfishness... never tot about you... But I keep telling myself it isn't like that... It hurts when i try to explain myself cos i turn out the jerk either way... It hurts trying to make u understand cos i know nothing can change your mind.... I guess all i need is time.... u need it too... think whatever you wanna think, cos i don't think i can change your mind and that hurts... I hope Allah s.w.t. will be your guide, i hope you'll find someone else better than i ... i treated you like crap and i know it hurts... I am the bitch... i'm sorry....

10:04 AM; i'm flying away now Y

Yey!!!
How can something so wrong feel so right?

yey!!! kita menang seh best script... very proud... takkan nak bolot semua award kan... Tapi the one i sought out for, i got... so i'm very happy. Thank you for working so well with me fana, bedah and sayang... it was great while it lasted. I learnt many many things... I loved the sri falsafah story... loved it so the much... congrats on persembahan terbaik... it was tough competition. Ezriel was superb.... So much energy... jus 1 word... "WOW!" hehe.... hope to see more of your work. Woo hoo... i miss you already... This is my first time getting anything with titisan and i'm so proud. It's like doing something for such a long time and actually attaining a reward... I guess peserverance really does pay off. And if i peservere i will receive. Jus hope i receive it faster. AHah... congrats to bedah... u've got so much potential... u jus underestimate urself... kau... pelakon wanita terbaik seh... So happy for u... u truly deserve it... Do NOT let your talent go to waste you hear me!! I'll kill you if u do... u left us once will NOT let u leave again!

Thanks az and nat... i love you guys many many... it's getting harder every minute... confused as ever... but thanks for jus listening and ur opinions really matter a lot to me...

How can something so wrong feel so right........................

11:28 AM; i'm flying away now Y

Yesterday
I've realised that i have done too much reflecting and very the little of wat I've been doing. Basically cos i dun really like updates as such but hey... jus a try. I woke up early in the morning feeling guilty becos i was supposed to meet farhan for his appt and i totally forgot abt it. Slept late the nite b4. Freaking bad gf i am... And to make matters worst, it was our mthsary. I'm so sorry syg. We shld really haf time alone, there's so many things i wanna say, so many things we haven't said in a long time. Saturday is our day. Ended going shopping for slutty clothes for Kelab dangdut with my mum at geylang... managed to get slutty clothes which wasn't that bad to wear aft the production... i like! haha... then went off to wrk super duper early... reached at like 4 plus start wrk kul 6. Hoping that i wld end up finishing wrk at 10 but couldn't. Had to rush off for filming ah. Was assured by Adib that CIk Atin wasn't angry... sorry many2 evryone who waited for me. Really sorry... unavoidable ah... then shooting... was wearing my slutty shirt and oh so short skirt that farhan hates.... :( hopefully it doesn't ride up when tgh dancing!!! hahah.... it was fun... got to act as a drunk so no big deal there... use my tired state and enhance it more... so it was cool. Then went near bugis village and shoot the other scenes. Off to bencoolen to drink and was driven by a lady who said the acting "banyak real ah!" haha... it was really great. Then abg den hantar balik... washed my face twice! haha... get all the make up off... then sleep sweet sleep. :P Busy busy busy... today me wrk.... yok! makan kat fish and co! Besok... bandusa ah eh? best script dok... (fana, bedah and farhan must be rolling their eyes abt now) positive ah beb.... But i know we won't win ah.... the other grps are awesome! good job dudes.... Gd luck A2, falsafah, mdm sherry grp, peti grp and farhan/farhanah! forgot your names lor.... sorry hor....

10:13 AM; i'm flying away now Y

People
Sometimes pple do things that u don't agree. Yes you have an opinion, u say your views. Is that considered gossip? then how do you learn from mistakes? To avoid getting into the same trouble as the person. So if u talk about a person's achievements, is that gossip? ya... jgn burukkan org. Then till when are u gonna tell ur fren if u know that the certain someone is bad company. Sampai dia dah kena? dah terlambat kan? so honestly, wat is considered good gossip or wat is considered bad gossip? is there such things as either? haiz.. sometimes i feel we shouldn't have mouths... prevent from any dosa caused... takleh makan atau minum benda haram dan takleh cakap atau gossip.... peace shall be in the world. so talk less.... and the world shall be a good place for evryone....

12:37 AM; i'm flying away now Y